Love, Love, Love

Is It All You Need?

One of the gaslighting techniques used against those who don’t buy into the dogma of the far left is to accuse dissenters of being “angry” or full of “hate.”

As one who often dissents, my motives are quite the opposite. Personally, my objection to nonsense comes not from a place of anger but of extreme disappointment and sadness. Mostly in how delusional those on the so-called left have become. Meanwhile, my love of my fellow humans empowers me to demand the objective need for our species to live in a world, not of fantasy, but the nearest thing we can claim as facts, i.e., evidence produced by the scientific method and mathematical proofs. But, it must also be a world of honor.

To be a successful human species, rather than the made-up narratives and lies spun by the woke and cult45 alike, we have to all agree on a shared reality.

Therefore, to achieve that goal, we can chill for a while under the only umbrella that never ages, recognizes no borders, and overcomes all obstacles.

The Beatles once had the world singing, All You Need is Love. Many years later, however, the world of peace and love promised to us by that love generation is clearly not as realized as the four English pop stars predicted.

Most adults have experienced the sensation of what we think we call love. And have, or will someday, tell someone, “I love you,” but what does that mean? And, does it always mean the same thing?

Does the “I love you” at the passionate start of a relationship express the same sentiment after several years, or even after a relationship has ended, but the caring and goodwill remain?

Nobody is lying, the words are the same, but the intent of our words has evolved.

I invite you to join me in checking out this mysterious word and the various types of love identified by some philosophical types of old. Remember, these are here to help you think about what love means. Sometimes you will notice a crossover between two, or more, ideas. Maybe nothing applies to you. Or, more likely, nothing yet.

But it’s all cool. It’s your journey.

Familial Love

For most people, the love of their family will be the first type of love they experience. It is the bond between a child and their parent, primarily based upon the need to nurture and care for one’s offspring and the dependency a child feels back. It is unconditional and typically infinite and, for the most part, does not have to be worked on as it’s built into our DNA.

As we develop memories with those we love in our day-to-day life, Familial Love will deepen and thrive.

This type of love is also based upon the powerful connections that develop between those we see every day, such as siblings and childhood best friends. And would certainly include our love for pets and that trusting love and devotion we feel back from them.

Familial Love is quite innocent as it has no romantic nor sexual element.

However, a couple in a long-term marriage, for example, may find that a previously romantic or steamy affair can turn into Familial Love over the long haul if date nights and sexy time are not kept up as a part of the relationship.

Brotherly Love

What we call Brotherly Love is essentially friendship and, like Familial Love, has no romantic element to the love being expressed.

Monty Python claims he was a “bugger for the bottle.” Still, about 2400 years ago that boozy philosopher Aristotle subdivided Brotherly Love into three types by addressing the motivations for forming this type of friendship.

First, “friendships” based on utility or transaction are based on the agreed, as opposed to exploitative, using of the other—however, one can certainly argue that those are not real friends at all, but acquaintances. For example, you may be on first name, friendly terms with the woman who changes the oil in your car, but that doesn’t mean you hang out on holidays or take your kids to the beach together.

The second type of friendships are those based on shared interests, passions, and mostly fun—these friends, however, may have no contact outside of their shared activities, making them quite shallow relationships. Good examples would be a pub trivia team who only meets to play the game once a week or parishioners in a church who mostly only see each other during services.

Finally, there are those examples of Brotherly Love, which Aristotle saw as a love for the other’s character and shared ideas. This is a person we hang out with for no transactional purpose except for the mutual pleasure we get from their companionship—nowadays, this is what we would call a true friendship.

Flirtatious Love

Butterflies in the stomach, hearts pounding, fun, and games. Flirtatious and playful, but not at all ready to commit. This starts to define the concept of Flirtatious Love, and the giddiness felt in a potentially budding relationship.

This type of love is hot and electric. It is about having lots of fun and can involve any of the games of seduction. A Flirtatious Love affair may involve all the hallmarks of a romantic relationship, i.e., going out, dancing, teasing each other, making out, or hooking up—but all in a casual way.

I couldn't tell where my mouth ended and his began. A liquid sensation swooped throughout my stomach. It was the most amazing thing I'd ever felt and it kept growing, the vibrating heat expanding outward. I was surprised I was still able to stand.

Heather Anastasiu, Glitch

Although all this may end in a long-term relationship, the noncommittal nature of Flirtatious Love means that it is as likely to be a delightful friends-with-benefits situation.

This is fine, as long as both parties understand that is the case, of course. A mismatched understanding of what the relationship actually is can certainly lead to pain for at least one of the parties involved if they are mistaking it for a true romance.

This is why open and ongoing dialogue is always helpful in relationships.

Romantic Love

Okay, here we are, Romantic Love, or what the Greeks named Eros after the God of love, lust, and sex.

This is what most of us think of when we are talking about love in the abstract. It is the realm of poets and songwriters; it is passionate, sexual, and often takes us far beyond the ability to rationalize our feelings or actions.

When we are struck by the arrow of Cupid (the Roman equivalent of Eros), we fall in love—driven by primal instincts to hold, to kiss, to screw. It’s physical beyond measure. Our hormones rage. Our bodies blaze. We have little control.

And that is why millions of books, poems, paintings, songs, plays, and movies have paid tribute to this most wonderful of mysteries. It can drive men and women to extraordinary acts of heroics or acts of defiance to be with the one they love. It even made an English king give up his crown.

But you must believe me when I tell you that I have found it impossible to carry the heavy burden of responsibility and to discharge my duties as King as I would wish to do without the help and support of the woman I love.

King Edward VIII, Abdication Speech 12/11/1936

Love can, however, also have its dark side.    

Obsessive Love

So, this kind of love is what was originally called Mania. It is where we get the words ‘manic’ and ‘maniac’ from. Essentially, in a relationship, Obsessive Love is what happens when things between partners lose their synchronicity. For example, there will be a problem if one person feels the Flirtatious vibe while the other is all about the Romance.

One is uncommitted, and the other can barely live without them.

Possessiveness and jealousy stem from these imbalances, as does an increasing sense of lack of self-esteem on the part of the obsessed person.

They are making too many texts, emails, and calls. Too many gifts and romantic gestures. Can’t even go a day without their object of desire.

The obsessed person does not have the self-worth necessary to survive in a relationship with someone not so into them.

This kind of mania or Obsessive Love can often manifest itself, and be witnessed, in obsessed teenage girls who, for example, fawn over K-Pop bands. Or members of the Cult45, for example, who can Stan for their man with the best of them.

Self Love

Long, long ago in 1985, way before becoming a crackhead, but moments after banging on about the self-evident belief that “children are our future,” Whitney Houston sang, “learning to love yourself is The Greatest Love Of All.”

And that, not alone time in the bathroom, is what Self Love is all about.

It is the love you have for yourself, your self-worth, your pride.

Before we can adequately care for others, we have to care for ourselves—that doesn’t mean being vain or focused only on selfish interests; it means having self-compassion and taking care of your physical, mental, and emotional health.

It encourages the opposite of what the woke cult preaches, i.e., seeking out hate and finding differences between peoples. That path leads to societal discord and a form of self-hate in weak, undeveloped young minds.

Conversely, Self Love is not being ashamed to be you, and it does not force one to carry the burdens of history nor an ancestry you can do nothing about. Instead, it is at least partly about freeing oneself from such self-abusive behavior.

Ultimately, the Buddha nailed it;

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.

Practical Love

After many years of genuine commitment, a couple may find that the initial sparks of Flirtatious and/or Romantic Love have long gone away.

The incredible, hormonally charged passions may have dissipated, but a loving couple has decided to stand alongside each other for as long as mortality will allow. As the name implies, Practical Love is a love that is worked on over a long time.

It is about dedication; it is a decision.

It is easy to imagine that many marriages of the British Royal Family were made to function due to this Practical Love, and the same could perhaps be said about those of political animals such as Bill and Hillary Clinton?

This doesn’t mean that one or both of the couple will not succumb to a bit of Flirtatious or Romantic Love with someone else.

Therefore, “don’t ask, don’t tell” is, one can imagine, something close to the mantra that held many of these relationships together throughout the years.

Universal Love

Generally regarded as being of the highest order, Universal Love (or Agape in Greek) is the absolute selfless love for every other member of humanity and the greater universe as a whole.

Originally thought to be the perfect, selfless way God loves everything, Universal Love is the foundation of true charity; it expresses unconditional love to the universe.

This love is reaching into one’s pocket to hand money to the homeless; it is feeding the poor, aiding the sick and the starving. It is giving without thinking and without wanting anything in return.

Although selfless in intent, Universal Love does seem to return dividends by the bucketload. This is because focusing on helping others regardless of their sex, sexuality, race, nationality, philosophies, religion, class, body type, age, or anything else removes the pain from our hearts and fills them with love. And, in that situation, everyone wins.

The more people are open to love and not hate, then perhaps the more likely they are to make peace and not battle in a venomous (online and media) war that’s designed never to end?

Personally, I don’t think trying it out a bit could hurt. Molloy